Freeing Yourself

Do you Feel isolated?  Find it hard to make decisions?  Have difficult expressing yourself?  Avoid social situations? Lack confidence?  Anxiety? Addictions?

It’s likely you have the sneaky, silent saboteur called “shame” undermining your life.

What is shame?  While guilt says “I feel bad about something I have done,” shame says “I AM bad, unworthy, inadequate.”

Shame comes in various guises: embarrassed, ashamed, humiliated, and even mortified (latin word for death!!).  No wonder it inhibits our ability to live life fully!

Shame hides behind anxiety.  The fear of saying what we think, for example, is actually fear of being criticised and feeling humiliated, yet again.

Shame originates in the past, when we or others have been harsh and critical towards us.   Often it originates in childhood.  Remember the “you should be ashamed of yourself?” And so we learn to be hard on ourselves.  We treat ourselves the way we were treated, The shame becomes like a ball and chain we drag along behind us.

As adults it is often associated with sexuality or money, but its landscape is unlimited!

Freeing yourself of past embarrassments that are running your life is one of the most liberating things you can do. You can change this.

First, as always, be aware.  Acknowledge what you don’t want others to know (always a good test of shame!).  Notice the situations in which you feel inhibited.  Second, meet with and get to know your sad, wounded, hurt part.  Go gently.  Ask and acknowledge its fears.

Thirdly, ask it what It needs. Usually it wants nothing more than love and compassion, support and understanding, kindness. Be there for it, be the loving parent or best friend it needs.

Like going to the gym, with practice transformation will follow. You will come alive. You will have more energy, confidence, have greater clarity, be more proactive, better relationships. You will be able to live life fully! Enjoy!

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